Making a Sound
by Magnolia519
Summary: Dear Evan Hansen mute AU. Mostly tree bros and possibly some star grils. I cant make a creative summary lol. Trigger warnings inside.
1. Routine

**Chapter I, Routine**

**A/N**

**Trigger warning! This book will include topics that may trigger some audiences. This includes subjects such as depression, anxiety, self harm, unhealthy eating, insomnia, and many other things considering these topics.**

**Evan's POV**

I woke up from yet another nightmare, drenched in sweat. I checked my alarm clock beside my bed:

_5:47_

_Of course it's this early, I never wake up to my alarm clock. I forget what it even sounds like._

I pulled the curtain and winced as the bright morning sun practically blinded me. The empty driveway told me all I needed to know. Of course she isn't home, she never is.

Next to my clock was a handful of pill bottles. I was getting low.

I took the usual. Antidepressants, iron, and SSRI. I didn't expect them to work, they never did. I took them anyway. Next to the bottles was a glass of water with a sticky note on it.

_Sorry I have to leave early honey! Vanessa is sick and I had to cover for her. Make sure to take your meds and write a letter to yourself! Dear Evan Hansen today is going to be an amazing day and here's why. Hopefully I'll be home by 10:30. _

_Love,_

_Mom _

I didn't need the water to take the pills but drinking it soothed the fire in my throat.

I took a shower to rinse myself if th sweat sticking me to my sleep clothes. Walking out of the shower, my eyes were drawn to the scale to the right of the sink.

_Don't do it. Don't walk on. Don't look._

Shaking away from these thoughts, I went to my room to change into the usual blue shirt and tan pants.

Walking downstairs, i noticed the utter silence that lingered in the flat. Our neighbors weren't up yet.

Who would be?

I was.

Some cereal and an apple was left on the kitchen counter, this time without a note.

Heidi, my mom, didn't expect me to eat, at least not in front of her, which might've been the reason she took an extra shift.

_She wants to get away from you, you freak._

I took the apple and sat down on the couch. I started reading a biography of Gordon Jacoby Jr. a famous scientist who traveled the world to study forests and the trees.

I must've read this biography about four times now but it just really interests me. Without realizing it, i was captured in a trance-like state. I do this sometimes, get lost in something. For me, it's a kind of way to run away from the real world.

_You'll never be as successful as him. You're nobody. No one would even notice if you'd disappear. Not even your own mother would care._

A notification on my phone snapped me back to reality.

**Mom: Hey honey! Have you eaten?**

_You're such a burden to her._

**Me: yeah, I had an apple and some cereal.**

**Mom: have you taken your meds?**

_She wastes so much money on you and your meds._

**Me: yup **

**Mom: Dr. Sherman had to cancel this Friday, something personal.**

_You won't even bother to speak to her._

**Me: Alright **

**Mom: shoot I gotta go! Text me if you need anything! Love you!**

_Her life would be better without you._

**Me: bye.**


	2. Falling

**A/N **

**Hey, it's the lazy author here! I decided to change things up a bit with the way I'm writing these chapters. They will be focusing on one character but I will keep the story consitantly in third person. I also may not upgrade very frequently because of personal issues and school work but I'll do my best to keep writing. Also I've decided to cut out Evan's eating disorder— it just doesn't work with his character arch and is also difficult for me to write. **

**Now onto what you're actually here for**

**TW: Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, Hospitals (subtle on the hospitals)**

Evan's POV

When it came to it, climbing the tree was easy.

Evan had climbed a lot of trees throughout his life. It was always his favorite thing to to. While other kids were playing with toys or hanging out with friends, he was strolling through the woods and recording different kinds of plants.

Of course the other kids were always talking about their new friends.

Of course Evan always wanted some friends too. But he thought, if he spent all his time with other kids, then who would the trees play with? They might get lonely without him.

"Right?"

Evan started to mumble this as he climbed the tallest oak tree at the edge of the clearing.

Suddenly, the branch beneath him wavered. Evan thought it would hold his weight, it looked like it could. He jumped up to the next arm of the tree and held on to it with all his might. Carefully, Evan pulled himself up and sat on the branch. Any further up the tree and the branch could give way without any warning. Like just now.

The small, disheveled boy that sat on his old oak tree branch was not prepared for the sight that met his eyes. His home town was bathed in a coral pink light that came from the rising sun. Every piece of glass in the small city glew like individual diamonds. The sun only just peaked above the horizon but it provided a warmth that radiated throughout the entire area. Too bad no one other than one suicidal teenager is up to witness it.

The branch beneath him shifted.

_Is it too unstable to hold my weight? Or was that just the wind? Oh god..._

In the midst of his panicking, Evan let out a laugh. It started with only an chuckle but then grew into a loud, slightly hysterical laugh. One that two friends share. One of them made some dumb dad joke and the other could stop laughing. Not because the joke was funny, no, it was a terrible joke. But because the two of them had a comport between each other, an understanding. They could tell the dumbest, most outdated jokes and get away with it.

Hat did Evan have?

Trees

Dumb insentient trees.

Trees that wouldn't even bother to hold his weight.

Evan closed his eyes.

He didn't see the dark figure coming closer to the tree on which he sat.

Evan took a deep breath.

He didn't here the crunching of leaves beneath him or a voice getting more and more muffled by the second. All he heard was a loud ringing in his ears.

**Do it you coward.**

But then, "Wait!"

He opened his eyes and turned his head toward the source of the voice.

But it was too late. He was already falling.

When he hit the ground it was quick. Far quicker than Evan expected.

Immediately, he noticed one thing:

He wasn't dead.

The next was far more concerning because not only was he still alive, his arm hurt like shit.

He didn't even need to move in the slightest to know that it was at least fractured, probably broken. His vision was blurry and blotches of color dominated what little he might've been able to make out.

Someone was with him. They wore a dark grey hoodie and has pale skin. That voice-

"Shit are you ok?"

Evan tried to lift himself up by putting his weight on his hands but immediately crumbled after a piercing pain shot up his left arm. Adrenaline burned within his core, shielding him from a crippling pain. He cried out in pain, disregarding the fact that this random edgy stranger just heard his voice.

"Oh fuck, I'll take that as a no." The pstranger took Evan by his right hand and helped him stand. Evan got a better look at the man once they stood.

His eyes were bloodshot and his brown hair was at his shoulders. He wore a grey hoodie and black jeans. If Evan would be walking down the street and seen him, he would probably walk the other way.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospitall? Your arm looks really bad."

Evan immediately began to shake his head. His mom works at the hospital. She would know. Or she would at least suspect why her son was climbing trees at such an ungodly hour.

He took a few weary steps away but he was wobbly and probably walked like a drunk man. The person grabbed his shoulder. It was a firm grab but also nothing that could hurt Evan.

"I'm taking you to the hospital." Evan was going to protest but the next thing he knew, he was in the strangers car driving to the hospital.

Evan's arm throbbed with pain and his eyes were glassy. He tilted his head back and forced himself to hum a tune. It was agonizing for his voice but it provided as a good distraction from his arm. The panic that weighed down on his chest subsided with a few deep breaths.

The next hour or so went by in a flash. Evan probably dissociated for half of it. Painkillers were provided, his arm was wrapped, and people asked him a flurry of questions. It wasn't until Heidi pulled the doctor to the side and whispered into his ear when the doctor started talking to Connor.

Connor had faded to the back of the room and turned his attention to his phone once everyone finally addressed him. Before then, he had been stealing his glances at the cute boy with a broken arm.

Evan turned quickly towards Connor, their eyes met. Evan fiddled with his fingers and wore a worried expression on his face. Connor looked again at T

Evan's hands. He was signing.

_No please no no. _The signs were minimized and were clearly directed to Connor. 

"Uhh...We climbed this large oak." He shifted in his chair and looked up to the two women. His eyes were glassy, "We wanted to see the sunrise. Then...he fell, the branch gave way. Then I called the hospital." Connor sighed. 

Connor turned his eyes to Evan and realized for the first time how attractive he is. His dirty blond hair complimented his light blue eyes. He clearly wasn't dressed to impress but his natural beauty showed. 

Evan noticed how Connor's chocolate brown hair framed his face. Connor's black painted nails were chipped and his eyeliner was faded and rubbed off.

Then the two of them realized they were starring and diverted their gaze. Connor looked down at this hands and moved his hat infront of his face to hide his red cheeks. Evan looked away and picked at his newly casted arm, even his hands seemed to be blushing. 

Heidi and the doctor began to talk about how long he will have a cast, his meds, and other logisticts. Evan was clearly spacing out, picking at hangnails and signing random things to himself. Connor was picking at his nail polish, checking his phone, while secretly watching Evan's signing. Evan's words ranged from facts about trees, the alphabet, and introductions. Conner smirked. He'd never seen anyone sign to himself. The two boys seemed to be in a different world. 

"—if I can't go then who will drive him?" Heidi cut into their peace.

Immediately, Connor spoke "I can drive him!" He was much louder than he initially intened. The teenager stood quickly and gave Evan a side-smile-glance then turned to Heidi. Heidi looked to Evan who gave a smile and a thumbs up.  


"Alright," Heidi sighed and quickly scribbled on a post it. "Here's my address. If you have any questions ask Evan, I have to get back to work" 

"Thanks." Connor said, accepting the scrap and quickly reading the address of Evan and Heidi Hansen.

**Sry about the sudden ending, this chapter was just dragging on for too long. Also, so far I don't have any set schedule— it's mostly when I'm satisfied. But I need to sleep so bye. **


End file.
